The Parent I Might Have Been

Just listen to your instincts… Don’t over think and overcomplicate… Every child is different… I often hear these reasons for not embracing a particular parenting approach, and I generally agree. Yet it is hard for me to imagine raising my three children without the gift of clarity I received twenty years ago from infant specialist

For all those reasons and more, I’ve appreciated my correspondence with Emilia Poprawa from Poland. Her learning experiences as she applies Magda’s Educaring Approach are like a mirror of my own development, and perhaps thousands of other parents worldwide.

I am sharing two of her letters. Her first reminds me of the passion I felt as a new parent to “do it right”:

Dear Janet,

I feel very passionate about what I am learning but also somewhat overwhelmed. Perhaps I’ve found myself in a state of disequilibrium where all I previously assumed about child development is somewhat falling part, leaving a space for a new paradigm to emerge. It is certainly not easy to change our old ways in favor of new, more effective and compassionate responses.

***emilia blurry

This later letter is also a reminder to me – of the priceless benefits of Magda’s approach, and of the parent I might have been:


It has been almost a year since I have welcomed my son into this world. It has been almost a year since I welcomed RIE into my life as a parent and caregiver. Needless to say I am grateful and lucky to have a proven roadmap to raise my son. Proven formula: miracle love + RIE = self-confident baby.

I am not saying that things are always easy and superb. There are many bumps on the road in forms of struggle, frustrations, not knowing, but I found myself always regaining equilibrium, learning from my mistakes and moving on. If I had never come across RIE, this is what my parenting would have been like:

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